I feel trusting your instincts/feelings is really important.

Feelings don’t lie. Words and actions can.

Like you may choose to ignore that feeling and get influenced by the superficial/what the person is suggesting and consequently you may let the person influence your feelings.

That’s the trap you need to get out of.

And the way to freeing yourself is not the way you got into the trap in the first place.

It’s about trusting those instincts/your feelings.

And not getting influenced by the superficial/what the person is suggesting.

Take care, thank you, later!

I just wanted to share how it felt for me after I was “discarded” by the narcissists.

It felt like everything had gone wrong because of me and it was all my fault. I felt like they were right, they were perfect. And it was my loss that they weren’t in my life/mine.

I felt intense amounts of guilt, I even went through a whole psychosis because of feeling overwhelming guilt.

I did try to just not think about it and that bought me some time but it didn’t really help me heal but at least I didn’t rot further because I wasn’t paying attention to what I felt.

I feel like it’s easier to spot overt narcissism than covert narcissism.

Like when dealing with an overt narcissist I found out about all this just months after. When dealing with covert narcissists I didn’t find out for 6 and 7 years respectively.

I actually had lots of depression, and suicidal tendencies (not just for this reason.. for a combination of factors). My self esteem was gone and I just felt worthless.

I felt they were better than me. I struggled with comparing myself to them. Perhaps because they acted like they were better than me.

I actually almost changed my interests to be more like them. 😅 Like let’s say they like medicine (they didn’t I’m just giving an example to conceal privacy), then all of a sudden I was thinking of being a medical scientist and googling about it.

because I thought those interests were “higher in standard” than mine. One of them showed off that they were smarter than me, and then to curb my hurt feelings I would take IQ tests to feel better.

I do have a firm belief though that everyone is equally smart in their own unique way. Because the more I got in tune with my feelings to feel good enough, I thought IQ or EQ or anything shouldn’t be a hierarchy. We can reject hierarchy and believe in equality. 💗

I struggled with revolving around a communal overt cerebral and somatic narcissist as a “moral ideal”. And I relied on what they thought and if they were to forgive me I would forgive myself. But then some introspection lead me to the deal that: If someone doesn’t forgive you it’s their fault, not yours. Forgive yourself because forgiveness is important especially after feeling remorse. After getting some distance after they essentially “discarded me”, I began to realize all this and that it really isn’t my fault.

I’ve trusted the narcissists more than myself and my friends. I’ve given the narcissists the benefit of doubt over myself and my friends because narcissists have a knack to act like the victim and empaths really want to help the underpersons right! (underdogs)

It was like I was revolving around them. I felt worthless. I felt they were perfect. (I still had my own morals though.)

Basically my point is that it really was a deep depression. But these are some of the signs and symptoms I feel are a clue that what you’re going through is kinda iffy and isn’t really the way you may be feeling it is.

If the thought of the person makes you uncomfortable they’re likely toxic, and it’s not your fault.

I mean how does it make sense that it’s always one person’s fault? Iffy, huh? 😜 You are enough and to all the empaths out there: It may be hard to imagine but not all people have empathy, and I mean I’d still say there’s good somewhere inside of everyone but sometimes the best thing you could do for both of you is to walk out of their life.

(because the more people walk out of their life the more likely they are to feel bad and seek therapy and the therapist would take it from there.. realize they’re a narcissist and try to treat them at the best of their ability.. but again it’s not the therapist’s fault.)

Thank you and hope this helps!

I wanted to share some tips and what has worked for me starting out my journey, and like what I think would help in starting with the healing process. I’m no psychologist though.

Overcoming denial is like forming a new habit. The more you work at it, the easier it becomes.

I feel like this goes for other problems too, like OCD. Like I’ve struggled with compulsive behaviors (repeated ritualistic behaviors). Basically the more I don’t give in to my urges the easier it becomes, and the more I give in, the more I invest time in compulsive behaviors.

I also find reading about narcissistic abuse really helpful, and in general reading about narcissists. The more connections I form, and the more I learn that it is not my fault, the more at ease I feel and the easier it is to steer clear from denial.

Support from friends can really help, and also giving your friends opinion more consideration. I’ve come across 3 narcissists. One was pretty young, so I would rather say he had narcissistic tendencies. And my friends have usually described them with these terms “big/huge ego”, “arrogant”, “mean”, “doesn’t care about others” etc. I feel like sometimes as an empath my friends understand things that I often overlook, so it really helps to trust your friends more than the narcissist.

It also helps to share your struggle with good friends. More often than not, others have gone through similar things and have dealt with toxic people too, and it can just be really nice to interact and invest in relations with non toxic people. Particularly it has given me hope that I can have truly fulfilling relations in life. And I’d like to thank those who made me feel this way.

I’ll write more about what it felt like when I didn’t know I was suffering from narcissistic abuse, because that really is when you feel hurt and when you’re torn down and it really helps to realize as soon as possible.

But thank you, and hope this helps!

Hey it’s been a long time, I’m sorry just haven’t been feeling at it. I’m no psychologist, but I’ve been through this and I feel this might be important to share.

If someone really wants to do something, they won’t just do it for the reward, they’d do it because they find it rewarding. 💖

Narcissism can give a really doubtful vibe. If you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, it’s important for you to realize that it’s not your fault, and to say no to denial.

We need to trust our feelings, not doubt them. Your feelings are valid.

If you are an empath, or for really anyone it can be a deeply painful experience, but it’s a life lesson.

The narcissist can try to control your mind and your thoughts, and it can feel like you’ve been caught in a distorted sense of reality.

It’s important for you to really understand that it’s not your fault. And that narcissism on the far side is a personality disorder where the person thinks they’re superior.

Narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits in general can be toxic, and hurt you.

I’ll try and post more about this later, but I just want to let you know, that you be you! And don’t let anyone limit your freedom of expression! 💖

Whether it be exercising or homework, there are some days when we just need some motivation to get started.

I really am not an expert, but I feel this way too at times. So I’d like to share my thoughts on this topic.

Think about that thing which you just feel you can’t get started with.

Even if you may need to do all of it, doing some of it is better than not doing it at all.

So one thing you could try is to start with the most favorable parts of it.

Like if cooking is more fun than cleaning, just start with that, because only doing the cooking and not doing the cleaning is better than doing neither the cooking nor the cleaning.

You could also do it differently.

I don’t know if this would work for all things, but like regarding exercise, if you just don’t have the mindset to go for a run, maybe you could do an aerobic dance workout instead.

Another way to go about it is to give yourself free time afterwards.

Like even if what you need to do is hard work, you get to truly relax afterwards, and honestly relaxation feels more good after hard work.

It’s like, after working out, stopping, resting, and drinking water feels great.

I feel it’s kind of similar for mental tasks.

If we relax for a long time, we start to feel bored.

If we have some tasks to do and can relax and chill afterwards, it doesn’t get boring but we still get to relax.

You could also try adding something fun to the plan.

Like, if you need to do homework, listening to music while doing so might help ease the tension.

One tool could be finding an easy way to do it.

Like, if reading a textbook and comprehending it is hard, you could read it while spending time thinking, pondering about what you’re reading.

If you simply don’t like reading lots of words (I can relate to an extent), maybe there’s an audio version you could use.

Well anyways, these were just the ideas I thought of.

Thanks for reading, and take care!

To start off, a toxic person is someone who tears you down rather than brings you up.

This could be a mean co-worker, an abusive partner, or someone who doesn’t accept you for you, for example.

So how to deal with toxic people?

I think the first step would be to see if there’s something you can do about it, to try to sort it out.

So that you can do your part and communicate directly with them.

This could go like, “Hi. It really hurts me when you call me an idiot and call me dumb. Can you please stop?”

This kind of language directly expresses your concern, and isn’t downright insulting either.

This is how you can try to preserve a good relationship with that toxic person/people.

Now if this doesn’t work, don’t worry, there are ways we can cope.

First off, we can set healthy boundaries.

Now if the toxic person/people live in your home, and let’s say you don’t have a separate room, it’s going to make the situation a bit tougher, but we can make it through.

There are several things to try.

You can limit your communication with this person/these people, not communicate more than necessary.

Journaling may help with keeping your self-esteem healthy.

If all else fails, I would try to spend as much of the day as possible out of the home.

If this toxic person/these toxic people don’t stay with you, you can limit your interaction with them to that which is necessary further, and you can try the ideas above as needed.

We can also benefit from our support system.

This can consist of anyone from a close friend to a mentor.

These people can help support you in jumping over life’s hurdles.

There are also some things we can do to remain happy in such difficult times.

Stress management and practicing healthful behaviors can help, such as staying aware of your emotions.

I like to check in with myself.

If I am out for a walk, I think to myself.

If I’m at home, I find a comfortable spot and I journal (on my phone, or in a notebook), or I talk to myself.

I check in with myself during day to day activities, such as in the shower.

Exercising can help improve mood, research suggests that endorphins are released after about 30 minutes of exercise.

Eating healthy plant-based whole foods can help you feel good mentally and physically.

Getting enough sleep (not too little, not too much) can also help you be happy.

Limiting caffeine if you want to consume it, and not doing any other drugs, not consuming alcohol, not vaping, not smoking, etc. can help.

Basically, behaviors that are good for your wellness, your well-being.

Another idea that has helped me with some things, that might help is to think about it or write about it or maybe talk about it, to not perceive it as a problem, and to continue thinking or writing or talking about it.

This could help you look for solutions instead of stressing over the problem/s at hand.

My mentor told me this one.☝🏽

It is especially important to take care of your mental health during tough times.

Stress can have a toll on us.

If needed, finding a reliable professional can help, that is if you are in a safe and secure position to do so.

Like if you live in a country where homosexuality is banned and you’re lesbian or something, I think it would be best to keep it to yourself, fight through it yourself, and find a way to leave the country, at least eventually.

One thing, it’s important not to let (a) toxic person/people bring you down.

If they’re being mean to you, that’s their fault, not yours.

Like it’s not about placing blame, but don’t think there is something wrong with you because they made (a) mistake/s or because they are making (a) mistake/s.

Finally, never give up! You can make it through and live a fulfilling life!

Thanks people for reading, and take care!

Hi. To share a bit more about myself, I’m vegan and I believe pets deserve freedom.

There are various reasons I’m vegan.

The first one I thought of is: Animals have feelings.

Animals have feelings as we animals have a limbic system in our brains.

There is a study that bacteria have feelings too.

I just find it unnatural to try to spare bacteria’s lives all the time.

Another reason to be particularly vegan, and not vegetarian or something is this: Cows’, buffaloes’, goats’, yaks’, etc.’ milk is for their offspring(s) nutritional needs.

It is not good for us, and we can live without it.

Then it’s that: Meat causes cancer. Meat is not good for health.

It not only kills those animals, it kills us too!

It’s a lose-lose situation.

There are major health benefits of the whole foods plant-based lifestyle.

It can treat lifestyle diseases such as type 2 diabetes, and can help you improve your overall fitness.

Of course paired with exercise, quality sleep, stress management, and the like.

I also feel, if I can live well without having to harm any animals, then might as well do it.

That’s why I choose cruelty-free.

I believe pets deserve freedom because I feel they would really love it if they weren’t on leashes, or in cages, if they didn’t depend on humans, if they had their own family of the same species, if they had sex, had kids.

Their lives revolve around us.

Our lives don’t revolve around them.

It’s not fair.

Imagine if you were a pet and some other species was treating you this way.

It’s really sad.

If you’re thinking they can’t survive on their own, we are the ones who domesticated them, now it’s our duty to make it so that they can survive on their own.

Humans have been able to invent technology, I feel we can do this if we put our minds to it.

But yeah, this is why I believe pets deserve freedom, I mean animals held captive in zoos, etc., and we all deserve freedom.

Yes, I am against the domestication of animals.

My values in life especially, empathy, understanding, kindness, truth, and wisdom.

Like, I really care about everyone, and if I can live without meat and animal products, let me do it.

Being vegan is also better for the environment.

Animal agriculture requires lots of water, for example, and is hazardous for the environment.

Being vegan can help prevent climate change.

Basically, with a vegan lifestyle, I’m very satisfied with the way I’m living my life.

Thank you people for reading, and take care!

Panphobia is the hatred of or bias against pan people.

There is one major myth going around about being pan, I don’t know why.

Does that mean you’re attracted to pans?

No, being pan means you’re attracted to people regardless of their gender.

Being panromantic means you’re romantically attracted to people regardless of their gender.

Being pansexual means you’re sexually attracted to people regardless of their gender.

Here’s another myth.

Does that mean you’re attracted to everyone?

No, it simply means someone’s gender isn’t a factor in whether you’re attracted to them or not.

Regarding gender identity, being pangender means you experience all genders.

“Pan” means “all” in Greek.

Now, examples of panphobia include laws that prohibit being pan openly, laws that don’t allow changing names readily and changing genders to “pangender” readily, same-sex marriage not being legal in many countries, “determining” a child’s gender at birth, discrimination, laws that don’t protect pan people from discrimination, bullying, bias against pan people, not accepting a pan person, not respecting them – not using their preferred names and pronouns, making a pan person go to conversion therapy or the like, disowning a pan child, the list continues.

Why are people panphobic?

Again, reasons can range from religious reasons to believing that it doesn’t make sense because reproduction, or like believing gender and sex are intertwined.

Either way, these reasons aren’t justifiable.

Why is panphobia wrong?

Research shows that scientifically, same-sex attraction is a perfectly natural variation in attraction.

Studies show transgender people (including pangender people) have brains that are like the gender(s) and/or agender they feel they are.

Basically, being panromantic, pansexual, pangender, etc. is scientific and totally natural!

Another reason, an outsider can’t tell how a person feels within.

They know who they’re attracted to and in what way(s). They know their gender.

You can’t tell how they feel within.

It doesn’t make sense to be panphobic.

I mean, just as with transphobia, I feel panphobia is like denying a person who they are.

My point is, we shall respect each other, accept each other, and use people’s preferred names and pronouns.

As with transphobia, racism, and other issues, panphobia is also a social problem.

Pan people face plenty of discrimination around the world.

I don’t know many countries, if any, where you can legally identify as pangender.

Same-sex sexual activity is prohibited in many countries, and is even charged with the death penalty in certain countries.

Same-sex and/or same-gender marriage can’t be done in many countries.

In many countries, pan people aren’t protected from discrimination.

Trump hasn’t been allowing trans people in the military, I’m denoting to pangender people right now.

In many countries, there are laws that criminalize being pan openly.

In many countries, simply wearing “the clothes of the other sex” is illegal.

The fact that we think we can “determine a baby’s gender and sex at birth” shows a lack of awareness.

These are some examples.

If our society and governments are being panphobic, then we are encouraging our people to be panphobic.

We need to affect social change.

We need to address all these issues affecting pan people, we need to educate people, teach people not to be panphobic in schools, colleges, the workplace, other classes, etc.

We need equality in our world.

Love is not a bad thing.

If it is forceful, then it is not real love.

If two people love each other, that is good news for both of them, and it doesn’t do any harm to anyone.

The prejudice against pan people is very real.

I think educating people and social reform are some of the key next steps.

My point is, panphobia, the hatred of or stigma against pan people is wrong, and is not nice.

Even if you aren’t pan yourself or something, you can always be an ally!

Thanks for reading, and take care!

Transphobia is the hatred of or bias against trans people.

Examples of transphobia include laws that prohibit being transgender openly, laws that don’t allow changing names and genders readily, laws that don’t provide insurance for hormones and surgery, “determining” a child’s gender/sex at birth, discrimination, bullying, bias against trans people regarding things ranging from relationships to choosing an attorney, not accepting a trans person, not respecting them – not using their preferred name and pronouns, making a trans person go to conversion therapy or the like, disowning a trans child, the list goes on.

Why are people transphobic?

Reasons could be anything from religious reasons to believing that it doesn’t make sense because reproduction.

Either way, none of these reasons are justifiable.

Why is transphobia wrong?

Studies show transgender people have brains that are like the gender/s and/or agender they feel they are. Basically, it is scientific.

Another reason, an outsider can’t tell how a person feels within.

They know their gender. You can’t tell their gender.

There are studies that show that people with sex dysphoria have certain gene variants.

It doesn’t make sense to be transphobic.

I feel it is like denying a person who they are.

My point is we shall respect each other, accept each other, and use people’s preferred names and pronouns.

Now, looking at it, as with racism and other issues, transphobia is also a social problem.

Trans people face a lot of discrimination around the world.

In the USA, Trump didn’t allow trans people in the military.

Straight out discrimination.

In many countries there are laws that criminalize being trans.

In many countries, sex change surgery is illegal, simply wearing “the clothes of the other sex” is illegal.

In many countries, trans people can’t legally change their gender, or not all trans people can legally change their gender.

First of all, how can we know a baby’s gender and sex at birth?

We can’t, they themselves can know.

These are some examples.

If our society and governments are being transphobic, then we are teaching our people that transphobia is good.

We need to affect social change.

We need to address all these issues affecting trans people, and we need to educate people, teach them not to be transphobic, like in school, in other classes/activities, and in the workplace, for example.

We need equality.

Trans people may also particularly feel excluded from the dating world, as a majority of people are unwilling to date a trans person, according to studies.

I feel this is also transphobic.

I mean if you fall in love, you fall in love right?

It shouldn’t matter whether they are trans or what their body parts are.

A person is more than their body parts, and if you really want to reproduce, there are other ways to make that happen, and adoption is also something you could do if you want.

I feel the stigma and negative judgements against trans people need to be erased.

I think education of people and social reform are some of the next steps.

My point is transphobia, the hatred of or stigma against trans people is wrong, and is not nice.

Even if you aren’t trans yourself or something, you can always be an ally.

Well, thank you people for reading, and take care!

Hi. So basically, here’s why I’m an atheist. To start off, as you may know my values are the following.

Internal Values: Empathy and Understanding.

External Value: Kindness.

Life Skills Values: Truth and Wisdom.

They go step by step, and by order of importance, empathy, understanding, kindness, truth, and wisdom.

To start out, empathy is very basic. Empathy for each and every person.

I’d like to add I’m vegan, and I believe pets deserve freedom, so when I say everyone, I’d like to note that I include all animals.

Anyways, I feel it’s important to care about all of us.

With that said, I feel understanding is the lengths that we go because we care.

Next comes kindness. It is important to be kind to everyone, because the happiness of all of us is what matters.

Now comes truth. It is important to first be aware of the truth, to then attain wisdom.

There is no evidence that god exists, that gods exist, that souls exist, that afterlife exists, that reincarnation exists, that rebirth exists, that a power exists, etc.

That there is a delusion. God’s existence is not scientific.

Think about all those blasphemy laws and anti-LGBTQIAP+ laws, I’m outraged!

Psychotic and violent people ruling nations.

There is so much sexism in religions. The classic, only females have to do this, only males have to do that, only males can be popes etc. It is not kind!

Inequality and discrimination is unkind! Then there is the sacred cow in Hindu culture “who gives us milk”, and the “sacrifice” (killing of goats) in Islam, these things are unkind people!

Religion can lead people to do unkind things of various sorts.

Teaching a child to be uncritically faithful is teaching them not to think, not to reason, the very act of this is unkind.

The list could go on.

My point is it is important that we be kind!

It is also essential to first be aware of the truth, to then gain wisdom.

For example, just imagining there’s dinner on the table, isn’t going to give me dinner on the table.

This belief will only work against me because I won’t make dinner, and my family and I will not have a good home-cooked meal.

Praying doesn’t solve problems.

Here’s another example.

If I don’t know whether there are strawberries in the fridge, if I were to then assume that indeed there are strawberries in the fridge, I am just guessing.

Same goes for believing in a power for example.

Saying, “Yes there is some power.” is a guess.

The real answer is “I don’t know whether there is a such power.”

When we don’t know we think no, unless there is reasonable evidence to the contrary.

Like for strawberries we may go searching for evidence, i.e. looking for strawberries in the fridge.

But if we don’t find any, that’s a no.

It doesn’t make sense to still believe yes!

That’s what’s going on, we have not found any evidence that a such power exists, so it makes sense to believe no.

There is no evidence that creationism is true! There is evidence that evolution is true!

So now which one does it make sense to believe in?

The one with evidence!

I mean this is the basic scientific process!

If there is evidence to support it, then yes we shall believe it.

If not, till not, no we shall not believe it.

Do we simply believe there is a new species or a new Earthlike planet?

No, we discover new species, we discover new Earthlike planets. Well, there you go!

Anyways, thanks y’all for reading, and please don’t take it as an offense. I’ll share more later, and take care!